“Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.” “Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.” “What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.” “To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.” On men “How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? The original meal has never been found.”įurther Reading: 57 empowering and inspirational quotes about self-love “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

'An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have the older she gets the more interested he is in her.' Agatha Christie Click To Tweet The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” “There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women.” “Brigands demand your money or your life women require both.” “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” On women “A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.” It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.”įurther Reading: 100 happy quotes that will make you smile “You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. “Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?” So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.” “My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

Funny quotes about life being hard